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Episode 21: Clan of the Cave Bear

Ayla is an anatomically modern human (is it technically Cro Magnon?  This is set in modern day Ukraine. To the Wikipedia!) orphaned and raised by a tribe of psychic Neanderthals.  This one isn't the one with all the doin' it (evidently that is Valley of the Horses which also has a bunch of blonde dudes who shop at Cave-REI), it's the one with a ton of rape and abuse in it. (A note: the cave I was talking about extensively is Shanidar.  Shalimar is, of course, a perfume.  Apologies.) So the fun thing about this book, and the factor that I know made everybody's mom love it, is the great research Auel put into it.  (Shades of Savage Ecstacy, y'all.)  She really knew her shit, at least about the state of research into Homo neanderthalensis in the late 70's - but since then there have been amazing finds and a lot of research using tools unavailable when Auel started writing.  Some of which, by the way, match her fiction.  (Uh, not the psychic part.  But the fucking…

I think, like, a lot of people have gone there before.



Before there was Chris Pine's dick in a Robert the Bruce movie, there was Shatner getting shirtless all over the place and introducing the world to the ancient martial art of "duck real slow and then do that thing with your one fist on top of the other one".  I'd make a joke about Kirk fucking green ladies, but as a real Trekkie I know damned well that Kirk was, in fact, married to his ship and never fucked any green ladies at all, although he did definitely do it with three or four non-green ladies during the run of TOS.

I love Star Trek and I love vintage romance novels and I can absolutely admit that they share a lot in terms of plot structure, heavy handed dialogue, and seriously silly costumes, although romance novels only wish they had an Uhura.  Also, McCoy and Spock are a totally classic romance novel couple and eventually dear god I hope they finally got to bang it out and quit bitching at each other.

PS - by the way, we are TOTALLY podcasting about Imzadi one of these days.





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    1. I read it unironically in high school; I think Courtney is mostly a Trek virgin. It's gonna be White Nonsense In Spaaaaaaace!

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